Is therapy right for me?
Seeking out therapy is an individual choice. There are many reasons why people come to therapy. Sometimes it is to deal with long-standing psychological issues, problems with anxiety or depression, relationship conflict or dissatisfaction, or a child's behavior. Other times it is in response to unexpected changes in one's life such as a divorce, work transition or loss. Working with a therapist can help provide insight, support, and new strategies for all types of life challenges. Therapy can help address many types of issues including depression, anxiety, conflict, grief, stress management, body-image issues, and general life transitions. Therapy is right for anyone who is interested in getting the most out of their life by taking responsibility, creating greater self-awareness, and working towards change in their lives.
Do I really need therapy? I can usually handle my problems.
Everyone goes through challenging situations in life, and while you may have successfully navigated through other difficulties you've faced, there's nothing wrong with seeking out extra support when you need it. In fact, therapy is for people who have enough self-awareness to realize they need a helping hand, and that is something to be admired. You are taking responsibility by accepting where you're at in life and making a commitment to change the situation by seeking therapy. Therapy provides long-lasting benefits and support, giving you the tools you need to avoid triggers, re-direct damaging patterns, and overcome whatever challenges you face.
How does therapy help?
Effective therapy will first diagnose the problem leading to your distress, lack of satisfaction, or being stuck. For instance, it can reveal whether anxiety is making you overestimate risk, resulting in avoidance that traps you in unsatisfying relationships, jobs or situations. Or therapy can reveal whether childhood conditioning is causing unhealthy relationship patterns. Therapy helps you see yourself, your relationships, and your life more clearly, and provides tools and support for lasting change. The therapist acts as a guide, helping to chart the path toward healing. Along this path, your therapist will also be your coach, your accountability partner, and your most honest cheerleader.
A number of benefits are available from participating in psychotherapy. Therapists can provide support, problem-solving skills, and enhanced coping strategies for issues such as depression, anxiety, relationship troubles, unresolved childhood issues, grief, stress management, body image issues and creative blocks. Many people also find that counselors can be a tremendous asset to managing personal growth, interpersonal relationships, family concerns, marriage issues, and the hassles of daily life. Therapists can provide a fresh perspective on a difficult problem or point you in the direction of a solution. The benefits you obtain from therapy depend on how well you use the process and put into practice what you learn. Some of the benefits available from therapy include:
- Attaining a better understanding of yourself, your goals and values
- Developing skills for improving your relationships
- Finding resolution to the issues or concerns that led you to seek therapy
- Learning new ways to cope with stress and anxiety
- Managing anger, grief, depression, and other emotional pressures
- Improving communications and listening skills
- Changing old behavior patterns and developing new ones
- Discovering new ways to solve problems in your family or marriage
- Improving your self-esteem and boosting self-confidence
What is therapy like?
Every therapy session is unique and caters to each individual and their specific goals. It is standard for therapists to discuss the primary issues and concerns in your life during therapy sessions. It is common to schedule a series of weekly sessions, where each session lasts around fifty minutes. Therapy can be short-term, focusing on a specific issue, or longer-term, addressing more complex issues or ongoing personal growth. There may be times when you are asked to take certain actions outside of the therapy sessions, such as reading a relevant book or keeping records to track certain behaviors. It is important process what has been discussed and integrate it into your life between sessions. For therapy to be most effective you must be an active participant, both during and between the sessions. People seeking psychotherapy are willing to take responsibility for their actions, work towards self-change and create greater awareness in their lives. Here are some things you can expect out of therapy:
- Compassion, respect and understanding
- Perspectives to illuminate persistent patterns and negative feelings
- Real strategies for enacting positive change
- Effective and proven techniques along with practical guidance
What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?
CBT is an evidence-based mode used to treat mood disorders such as depression and anxiety, as well as low self-esteem, adjustment disorders, and relationship challenges. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy focuses on the relationship between your thoughts, feelings and behaviors: how you think about something shapes how you feel about it which shapes how you behave, creating a reinforcement loop that keeps you stuck. CBT begins by examining your main automatic thoughts to spot distortions caused by anxiety, depression, or early childhood conditioning. This therapy pinpoints behavioral patterns caused by distorted thinking. For example, holding a deep belief about being unworthy or unlovable may lead to walling yourself off to others which results in loneliness, sadness and hopelessness. CBT helps you learn how to identify distorted thinking patterns and encourages you to question them, enabling you to substitute them with thoughts that are more realistic and beneficial. Behavioral experiments may be used to demonstrate that distorted thoughts and beliefs are incorrect and to deepen change.
How does couples therapy work?
Couples therapy usually involves joint sessions. However, there may be times when it makes sense to meet with partners separately.
Couples therapy helps couples identify unhealthy communication patterns, unhealed wounds from the past, and unspoken feelings and needs. It then helps couples to challenge and replace these with new more effective ways of communicating, connecting and healing. This change process happens first in the room during sessions, giving partners new ways of experiencing each other. These changes then become generalized to connection and communication outside of sessions, in the couple’s everyday life.
The model I draw upon most in my work with couples is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). EFT is a structured, evidence-based approach designed to strengthen emotional bonds and improve intimacy by focusing on attachment needs and emotional regulation. It helps couples identify, interrupt, and replace negative communication cycles with secure, responsive interactions to foster trust and lasting connection. Emotionally focused therapy stands apart from other types of couples therapy because it is grounded in attachment theory with a demonstrated success rate of 70%–73% in reducing relationship distress.
How quickly will I start feeling better?
When clients engage openly and participate actively, they may begin to experience improvements within 2-4 sessions, with noticeable changes in patterns typically emerging over 2-3 months. Meaningful changes will appear after 4-6 months of regular sessions.
Why should I choose you to be my therapist?
Selecting the right therapist requires balancing expertise and a compatible personality. I suggest you first determine if my expertise and experience fits with your needs. I have over 25 years of experience treating anxiety and depression, as well as working with couples and families. I also have expertise in adolescent mental health. If my experience matches the reason you are coming to therapy, I suggest we schedule an initial consultation phone or video meeting to determine personality fit. I am a directive, practical, interactive therapist who values humor. Though not young, I connect well with teens and young adults.
Clients appreciate my ability to articulate their experiences in ways that make them feel understood and to quickly get to the heart of the matter.
- I am skilled at expressing what my clients are feeling, which helps them recognize and validate their own emotions.
- My approach allows clients to feel seen and heard, fostering a sense of trust and safety in our sessions.
- I am adept at identifying core issues, enabling us to focus on what truly matters and make meaningful progress.
Is medication a substitute for therapy?
In some cases a combination of medication and therapy is the right course of action. Working with your medical doctor you can determine what's best for you. It is well established that the long-term solution to mental and emotional problems and the pain they cause cannot be solved solely by medication. Instead of just treating the symptom, therapy addresses the cause of our distress and the behavior patterns that curb our progress. You can best achieve sustainable growth and a greater sense of well-being with an integrative approach to wellness.
Do you accept insurance? How does insurance work?
While in my practice I do not take insurance, some clients have submitted an invoice or statement (which I can provide) to their health plan and have received a partial reimbursement for fees paid for therapy. However, reimbursement by a health plan requires that a therapist give a client a reimbursable mental health diagnosis. If this is an option you are considering, I would be happy to talk through the details and ramifications of submitting a statement to your provider.
Is therapy confidential?
In general, the law protects the confidentiality of all communications between a client and psychotherapist. No information is disclosed without prior written permission from the client.
However, there are some exceptions required by law to this rule. Exceptions include:
- Suspected child abuse or dependent adult or elder abuse. The therapist is required to report this to the appropriate authorities immediately.
- If a client is threatening serious bodily harm to another person. The therapist is required to notify the police.
- If a client intends to harm himself or herself. The therapist will make every effort to work with the individual to ensure their safety. However, if an individual does not cooperate, additional measures may need to be taken.